Every once in a while a shoplifting experience will actually seem funny. As a counselor for both in-class and online Georgia theft classes I hear all kinds of stories about all kinds of theft.

Thieves are not always the sharpest tools in the shed. I like to hear the excuses some thieves give when they are caught. In each of my stop theft classes we always share stories. The following tale is one for the ages. These are classic excuses. As reported in www.deathandtaxesmag.com.

The incident occurred in Athens, Georgia. The thief was Robert Anthony Leseueur.

What pray tell did this 36-year-old thief steal – a Slim Jim! Leseueur walked into the store, grabbed a Slim Jim, ate it, grabbed a can of pop, washed it down before leaving the store, and left without paying.

That is called grazing and it is extremely common, Just last night at my local grocery store I watched a lady grab a donut, eat it and throw away the wrapper. I am sure she did not pay for it.

Anyway, police interviewed Leseueur, who came up with three brilliantly bad excuses for why he stole the snacks:

“Someone on the Internet told me I could have these for free.”

“I’m part of Seal Team Six and I’m on a special mission.”

“I caught Satan. He’s in a bottle in my book bag.”

I hope Leseueur is mandated to a good theft class in Georgia and understands that grazing is stealing too.