As the educational director for an online theft prevention class I try to follow the news about thefts and shoplifting closely. Every once in a while a story comes across the wire that strikes me as somewhat comical. Here is one item that got to me back in December, 2013.

Cops Have Milk Stolen?  

This story takes place across the pond in England. Thirsty cops reported a theft from their own police station – after someone made off with a PINT OF MILK.

Officers were so angry when the skimmed milk went missing during a raid on their canteen fridge that they logged it as an official crime. Somewhat comical, right?

Always the bright ones, details of the “theft” are unclear but it is thought officers suspected a colleague of nicking it to add to their tea or cereal.

The carton – which had a set of initials scrawled on the lid in an unsuccessful bid to deter thieves – was never recovered and the 2012 crime remains officially unsolved. Seriously?

The pint was among more than 25 items reported stolen on force property between 2010 and 2013 – 18 of which were officially logged as crimes. Bunch of regular hoodlums in the precinct, right?

The swiped belongings also included a tin of biscuits which went missing in February 2012. Good Lord, I hope they dusted for fingerprints.

Officers also reported the theft of a torch, two phone chargers and a number of toiletry items including perfume, eyeliner, eye shadow, foundation and aftershave. The inside jobs also include a gym belt, a dress, a designer coat, a gift card and two #1 coins.

The only stolen object ever recovered was a missing car number plate.

Don’t these bobbies have better things to do with their time that steal milk and toiletries, then investigate the thefts? I think the entire precinct should take an online anti-stealing course.